Taking Things Slowly

Fad, “lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks!” diets do not work: not long term. Weight loss may be achieved, but healthy habits are not established, and as soon as you go back to normal life you gain back most if not all of the weight. In the same way, when we rush in to love, an intense love feeling may be achieved, however healthy relationship habits are never established, and once the whirlwind romance dies down a bit and life begins to creep back in (as it always does) the lovebirds end up disenchanted, tired out, or unfulfilled.

In addition to this, couples who jump right in to physical relationship are often blinded to each other’s faults; leaving them nearly incapable of logically evaluating whether the relationship is good for them or not. The result is one broken heart after another.

To fix this, go on a few dates before kissing. Do not reveal every last thing about yourselves right away. I know you want to learn, but spend equal time just being together and studying behavior rather than just words said. Do things together when you can but not every day. Even the Bible says

“Don’t visit your neighbors too often, or you will wear out your welcome” Proverbs 25:7.

It is true, your romantic partner may not be your neighbor, but the Greek root word used in this verse is ‘Plesion’ meaning “near” so the concept still applies.

You may feel that the other individual in your relationship cherishes every moment with you as much as you do with them, and they may, but the truth is, every individual needs different amounts of time on their own. They may love you too much to hurt your feelings and tell you they are feeling crowded. Constant contact by phone, text, social media, and personal time together will kill romance more quickly than peace disappears in a firefight. Don’t wear out your welcome. Keep your time together a treasure; not a chore.

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