Here is something that shattered my way of thinking listen all you single people… you may need to hear this:
Have you ever had an experience where you read through a part of the bible that you have read dozens of times before, yet, all of the sudden, something new jumps out at you? I had this experience recently. It happens quite often, but this one was especially significant to me.
I am a romantic; deep down in my bones. I want to romance and be romanced so badly. Sometimes I have someone, sometimes I don’t, and what I share on this blog are things that I have learned in my journey. For years, I prayed for God to give me a husband because:
“Even Adam was lonely. Even he needed someone. God I know you are there for me as my constant companion, but I need someone on this earth to walk with me. Please Lord Jesus.” I would plead.
Adam was in the garden, in pure and absolute fellowship with God because he had not yet sinned, which means the relationship between God and man was not yet broken. He still needed someone here with him to show him love: I thought…
And then I picked up my bible and began reading…
Now, I’ve read Genesis 2 I don’t know how many times, but I noticed something different this time: maybe because I have lately been praying for understanding in this area. Something was not clicking for me. I could not consolidate the two teachings I have clung to:
- The teaching I had believed that said: Adam was lonely, so God made eve for him to love him and keep him company (I mean, isn’t that how most elementary revised bibles for children teach it)
- That God is more than enough for me in every aspect: he will provide all my needs, and be my constant friend, and Lord, and I will be completely fulfilled in HIM
These two points cannot be consolidated. There is no way for both to be true and exist in unison. If God is my peace and my fulfillment, why do I need a partner to fulfill the longing inside?
I am glad I asked. I’m glad I opened my bible searching for answers, because what is commonly believed is not correct. Eve was not created to take away Adams loneliness. Adam was not lonely. He was in fellowship with God. Eve was created out of Adam as a helpmate for Adam.
15 And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. ~Genesis 2:15 (KJV)
Adam had a God given job of maintaining the garden.
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. ~Genesis 2:19
Adam had the God given job of naming all of the animals God had created (God gave him a creative job! How awesome is that!)
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. ~Genesis 2:18
If you notice here, God did not say “lonely” he said “alone” and it was right in the middle of where the bible is talking about all of the work Adam had to get done. We, in our human minds, interpret “alone” as “lonely”, but sin had not made the separation between God and man yet. Adams soul and spirit would have been constantly in touch with God. No loneliness there. Adam had a lot to do. He needed help: someone to share the burden.
So, my way of petitioning heaven has changed.
Who do we need, and more importantly, who do we need to be?
If our partner is our helper, well, we need to find someone who can help. With what? Well, just as in Adam’s case, we need to pray for someone who will help us with our God given duties. We all have callings as Christians. We should all be ministering to those around us as Christ love is poured out of our hearts towards others. We have differing personalities and spiritual gifts to aid us in that ministry to which God has called us.
The person that you are seeing should not pull you away from your calling/ministry. If they do, you are with the wrong person. They can have a ministry too, but if your separate ministries are obviously heading in opposite directions: in the way that would make one or the other of you quit the ministry God is currently asking you to do, it is either the wrong person or the wrong time.
Who do we need to be then? We need to be exactly who God has called us to be. We need to be diligently seeking after God and working out of the spiritual gifts the Lord has given us. I know this is particularly difficult for women. Many women in the church today are led to believe that they cannot minister to others until they are married. Culturally they looked down upon and whatever wisdom The Lord may have given them in certain areas is overlooked. As soon as they have a husband they can join in his ministry but they are incomplete without one. Not every church endorses this, but many do act out of this cultural back shadowing.
Although I do believe it is important to keep things appropriate, please do not hold back on furthering God’s kingdom because you have not found someone yet! The days are short, and “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” If you have a heart of service: if you want to reach out, do not think that getting a husband (or wife men) is a qualifier! Pray about where God wants you, and GO.
God absolutely and without reserve is enough for me, for anyone. “he who finds a wife finds a good thing” but we do not NEED another in our lives to be fulfilled in our savior. His love is perfect for He IS love. HE IS ENOUGH