The Struggle

originally written March 2013

I try so hard to live in full surrender But all these broken pieces make it so difficult

This tug of war struggling inside of me

I give you most, you want it all.

And as I open up you show me more that I am holding back

The pain as selfish pieces of me die.

The death of pride, the birth of grace.

The constant struggle. I feel undone, then Whole, undone again

And praying that somehow I satisfy this unending struggle that somehow I will die and rise.               a new man better than I was before. Hoping that I shine: the salt, the grace, the light.
Not of me but of youPray_hard_christian_t-shirts_87634a

Not of me but of you

Not of me but of you
The pain as what I want disappears and what you have for me takes it’s place. Change me. I want to be where you are.

I’ll face the pain. I will not let bitterness have its way in my heart! No matter how hard, I will follow.

No matter how long it takes, I will follow.

Look kindly on your servant. Bless me with endurance, grace, and a willing heart.

Help the faith that I am struggling to have right now that my somebody will find me: that this life is made of more than pain, and loneliness because:

I know that you are good.

I know that you want what is best for me.

Not of me but of you

Not of me but of you

Not of me but of you
Amen

Carey J Boyce

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7 thoughts on “The Struggle

    1. I believe that our spirits and our flesh are in constant conflict as Paul says in Galatians 5. There is always part of us, “the flesh (that) desires what is contrary to the spirit and the spirit desires what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in constant conflict so that I do not do what I want.” But Paul also talks about living by the spirit so that we do not gratify the flesh and it’s lustful desires. (Lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life) we need to get to the point where we believe God and His desires for us are truly what is going to satisfy our lives. This is why, through faith we are saved. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation of all who believe, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For, in it, the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith. As it is written, “the just shall live by faith.”” (Romans 1:16-17 NKJV)

      Liked by 1 person

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